Thursday, November 21, 2024

Essential Tips to Build Good Relationships with College Roommates

A roommate can be a friend, not just somebody you tolerate.

Picture yourself in your college dorm with late-night adventures on the horizon, forging friendships and creating unforgettable memories with the person you share a room with. Now that’s the dream. But what if a computer randomly chooses your college roommates for you? 💻

This turn of events is not a setback but rather a chance to expand your outlook. The people in your shared space can help you discover various viewpoints on countless topics and even gain insight into other cultures

Ready to turn your random roommate into a real friend? Let’s unlock the secrets to dorm room harmony with top tips on forming good relationships with your college roommates. 🔑

Get to Know Your College Roommates (And Their Schedule)

Two individuals working on laptops at a table to achieve good relationships with roommates
Take the first step and establish open communication about things like guests or late-night study sessions. Photo: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels

Sometimes, just understanding your roommate’s perspective can go a long way toward avoiding problems. To discover more about them and their routines, arrange a light-hearted get-together before you move in. This will allow you to break the ice and discover each other’s interests, pastimes, and lifestyle preferences. 

Be proactive in talking about your schedules. Being aware of when your roommate works, studies, or sleeps will help prevent arguments and foster a more peaceful living space. 📅

TIP: Create a shared calendar using a whiteboard, online app, or a simple notebook to mark down work shifts, study times, and planned guests. This provides a visual reference and avoids last-minute disruptions.

Clear Communication is Key

Two women roommates chatting in a kitchen, holding red cups
Talking about schedules, habits, and pet peeves upfront helps you and your roommate know what to expect. Photo: RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Establish clear communication as early as possible to help you respect each other’s expectations, avoid conflicts, and be considerate of each other’s time and space.

To maintain a good relationship with your college roommates, check their communication style and adjust accordingly. Are they more comfortable with frank, direct discussions, or do they prefer a gentler approach? It can be a lot easier to agree on rules about chores, visitors, and other roommate-related matters if you know how they prefer to get information. 🗣️

Create Boundaries and Stick With Them

Understanding your boundaries is the first step to achieving harmony with college roommates. Do you need quiet study time? Is personal space in your room sacred? Maybe you don’t mind shared food, but your favorite coffee is off-limits. Once established, boundaries go both ways. Respect your roommates’ boundaries as this fosters trust and avoids unnecessary conflict. 🙏

Be flexible and willing to adjust on a case-by-case basis, always ask permission before borrowing something, and treat borrowed items with care. You can also discuss what household items can be freely shared (like condiments or cleaning supplies) and what’s off-limits (like personal snacks or beauty products). ⛔

Another rule of thumb is that bedrooms are private sanctuaries. Always knock before entering, especially if the door is closed. If you share a bedroom with your roommate, discuss ways to create designated areas for studying, sleeping, or relaxing. In smaller rooms, consider using furniture dividers, curtains, or lofted beds to create separate spaces.

TIP: When you have guests, remember to be mindful of noise levels. Establish ground rules for noise levels, especially during sleep or study times. Consider using headphones for late-night or distracting activities, like watching a movie or listening to music. 😴

Give Each Other Space

A college student standing outside, holding a camera
Pursue hobbies and interests done outside your shared living space. While you want to bond with your college roommates, having some alone time can do wonders for your relationship. Photo: Rafael Barros/Pexels

After a long day of classes or dealing with other stressors, having a dedicated personal space allows you to debrief, relax, and unwind in a way that works for you. If your living area is limited, designate specific areas for individual relaxation. Maybe you claim a comfy armchair for reading, while your roommate prefers the balcony for quiet phone calls. 🛌

Schedule some solo activities you enjoy, whether it’s reading in a park or taking a long walk outside. And don’t be afraid to say no. It’s okay to politely decline invitations to hang out if you genuinely need some alone time.

Additionally, explore hobbies and interests that give you time away from your shared living space. This can be a great way to recharge and de-stress. Engaging in these activities allows you to explore your individuality, connect with others who share your passions, and return to your living space feeling refreshed and ready to bond with your roommate. 💡

Keep Common Areas Clean

Female college student cleaning living room floor with mop and bucket to achieve good relationships with roommates
If a cleaning task takes less than five minutes (like wiping down spills or putting things away), do it right then! Your college roommates will thank you for it. Photo: Milkos/Depositphotos

A messy environment is a surefire way to strain the relatively calm and unbothered relationship you have with your college roommates. Create a cleaning schedule and divide chores fairly among yourselves. Consider a weekly or biweekly schedule with tasks like taking out the trash, wiping down counters, and vacuuming.

Clean as you go, and don’t let messes take over your living space. Wash your dishes promptly after meals, wipe down spills, and put things away where they belong promptly. 🗑️ Lastly, respect each other’s efforts. If someone cleans something, appreciate it! A simple “thanks” goes a long way.

Split Responsibilities Equally

A  female college student sitting on a couch with a laptop
Consider all the shared expenses: rent, utilities (electricity, water, internet), cleaning supplies, and common household items then divide it fairly among college roommates. Photo: sbartsmediagmail.com/Depositphotos

Fairness is key when you have college roommates, especially when it comes to the Big Three: rent, utilities, and wifi. Start by dividing these fixed costs equally among roommates unless there’s a significant difference in room size or amenities (e.g., a private bathroom). 💸

If some college roommates have a much higher income, you may want to discuss a proportional split based on income. Another option is the square footage method, where those with larger rooms contribute slightly more. Decide on a system for shared items like toilet paper, cleaning products, or basic pantry staples. This could involve taking turns buying them or creating a joint fund for these purchases. 🧻

Be Open-Minded

Your roommate’s hobbies, habits, and even quirks can be a source of amusement and learning. Instead of judging, embrace their uniqueness and try to understand their perspective to appreciate their individuality.

Look for shared interests (it could be something unexpected). Maybe you both love obsessing over historical taxidermy or decoding ancient knitting patterns. Focusing on common ground creates a foundation for good relationships with roommates. 🀄

If your college roommate comes from a different country or background, you’ve got a golden opportunity to celebrate cultural exchange. Share meals, learn basic phrases in their language, or attend a cultural event together. These can broaden your horizons and strengthen your bond.

Good to know: While embracing differences is important, remember to respect boundaries. If your college roommates prefer quiet evenings to socialize, don’t pressure them to join your party plans.


While living with new people can have its challenges, remember that it’s also an opportunity for personal growth and potentially lasting good relationships with college roommates. By following these tips and fostering open communication, you can create a harmonious living environment where everyone feels respected and comfortable.

Who knows, maybe by the end of your time together, you’ll have a story — or two — to chuckle about later! 💡

Building Good Relationships With Your College Roommates: Frequently Asked Questions

Why do colleges make students have roommates?

It encourages social interaction and bonding, allowing students to learn about different cultures and backgrounds. It’s also cost-efficient, enabling colleges to accommodate more students within limited housing space.

What are the benefits of having a roommate in college?

How can I achieve good relationships with college roommates? 

How do you set healthy boundaries with college roommates?

What are the qualities of a good college roommate?

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